10 Green Flags That Mean Your Relationship Is Built to Last

We all hear about red flags in relationships. I’ll even admit that I so enjoy hearing people compare stories as though we’re all taking part of an interesting case study of a cautionary tale. I wanted to take the time to write about what it might look like if you’re in a healthy relationship- essentially the ‘green flags’. They’re often small, steady signals that tell you this might be the real thing and something worth my time and effort.

Here are ten green flags to pay attention to next time you’re getting to know someone, or checking in on your own relationships. Fun fact: these also work when evaluating your friendships in general.

1. They Communicate Openly and Honestly

They don’t play guessing games or make you decode mixed signals. When something’s bothering them, they talk about it calmly. When they’re happy, they want to share it with you.  Perfect communication doesn’t exist but you can generally perceive whether someone is willing to let you in.

2. They Respect Your Independence

They love you and don’t feel the need to control you. They understand and welcome that you have your own friends, your own hobbies and even need alone time. They encourage you to do the things that bring fulfillment to your life.

3. They Handle Conflict with Maturity

Arguments do happen, anyone who is in the best of long-term relationships will tell you. If they can disagree and still be kind, listen without interrupting, and take the time to genuinely move toward understanding and respecting your view that’s definitely a green flag.

4. They Show Consistency

Anyone can come in and put together a few good months, but beyond that, what are they like? I call it ‘waiting for the dog and pony show to be over’ because people usually try to show up as their best and then eventually they’ll settle into what they’re regular, most relaxed self. It’s not the most exciting, but it is one of the keys to building trust and why I’ve put it as a green flag here.

5. They Take Accountability

If they can accept their responsibility in the things that don’t go right, that’s a good sign you’re seeing a green flag. It takes someone with emotional maturity and thoughtfulness to take accountability.

6. They Celebrate Your Growth

A supportive partner is someone who cheers for your wins and isn’t threatened by you growing and changing. Maybe you’re going back to school or even working on yourself on a personal level, they want what is ultimately best for you and your well-being.

7. They Make You Feel Safe

In this instance, I’m not talking about protecting you from outside dangers, although yeah they should have the wherewithal to not put you in dangerous situations. I mean the create an environment of emotional safety where you feel comfortable sharing who you are without walking on eggshells. You feel safe to be vulnerable to share your thoughts and know that you’re still loved afterward.

8. Your Values and Goals Are Aligned

The big things that really matter should be aligned, even if the little details require some compromise. It’s a green flag when you both want similar things out of life, because it means that you’re not having to bargain with changing anything that might be super important to you or them.

9. They Listen to Understand More About You

When you’re speaking, they actually hear what you say and remember it. Not only that, they are paying attention to the emotion that accompanies the words. When someone makes you feel understood, that’s a green flag.

10. You Feel Like Yourself Around Them

When you can just be yourself, that’s one of the most exciting things in a relationship. It’s not a filtered, people-pleasing version of yourself that you have to keep up when you’re with your partner. The lightness that comes with knowing that you can be who you want to be when you’re with someone is special.

What you’ll notice about these green flags is that they all point to one main idea: genuine understanding and clear communication. You don’t need to memorize the whole list to know when something else feels good and safe. You’ll just feel it. But if you ever find yourself questioning how things are going, come back to these signs. They can help you see what’s working, what’s missing, and where small changes could make your relationship even stronger.

Related Reads:

How to Protect Your Heart and Mind in a New Relationship

Figuring Out What You Want From a Romantic Relationship

Not Settling: Deciding That You Deserve Better in Relationships